"...IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR BLISS, DOORS WILL OPEN FOR YOU THAT WOULDN'T HAVE OPENED FOR ANYONE ELSE." - Joseph Campbell

"SOMETIMES ON THE WAY TO YOUR DREAM, YOU GET LOST AND FIND A BETTER ONE." - Lisa Hammond

"IT IS POSSIBLE AT ANY AGE TO DISCOVER A LIFELONG DESIRE YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD." - Robert Brault


"IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHO YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN." - George Eliot

"WE DID NOT CHANGE AS WE GREW OLDER. WE JUST BECAME MORE CLEARLY OURSELVES." - Lynn Hall

"GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS! LIVE THE LIFE YOU HAVE IMAGED." - Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

* Gotta Love Steven Wright *

Steven Wright always cracks me up!

Hope you enjoy the following as much as I do.


Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".

I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.

I make my own water - two glasses of H, one glass of O.

Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?

The other day, I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people who were here last year."

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? 

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. One day I got a call from a guy in France who said, "Cut it out!"


Now, a word from Becky: I firmly believe in the saying "Laughter is the Best Medicine." After reading all of the above funny lines, I'm all better today! Thanks so much for all the well wishes!

16 comments:

  1. I really do hope you are feeling much better today. I hate a nasty cold, sometimes it feels like I'm ready to cash in the chips.

    As you already know I love Quotes and Things, and I loved all of these, they brought a smile to my face this cool rainy morning. (smile ; )

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  2. Great quotes Becky! I am so glad you are feeling better!

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  3. These are funny! I sure hope you feel better today! Take care!

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  4. haha

    cute stuff

    get well soon!

    =)

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  5. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today, Becky. Hope you feel better soon!

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  6. I wandered over from Delores' blog. Nice to meetcha. I'm a Steven Wright fan, too. His mind is kinda warped, so it matches mine pretty well. Glad you're feeling better. Count me in as your newest follower.

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  7. What a timely post! I'm so wound up ... already talking back to the TV, so it feels GOOD to laugh.

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  8. I agree....I have a friend that could be another word for thesaurus. Hahaha.

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  9. Glad you are feeling better, Becky!

    XO,

    Sheila

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  10. Loud smiles. Thank you - and I hope your healing continues apace.

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  11. I'm glad you're feeling better, Becky. I was sorry to read you were feeling down. *hugs*

    Thanks for the laughs with this post!

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  12. I also believe laughter is the best medicine. Haven't heard of Steven Wright before. Thanks for sharing the medicine! sandy

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  13. Sorry you've been under the weather, but thanks for offering up Steven Wright for us. :) I also love the one liners of Mitch Hedberg. He's the creator of such off-center humor as: "A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."

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  14. Thanks everyone for all your kind well wishes! I'm definitely feeling better every day. And I'm really glad y'all enjoyed Steven Wright! :D

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