"...IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR BLISS, DOORS WILL OPEN FOR YOU THAT WOULDN'T HAVE OPENED FOR ANYONE ELSE." - Joseph Campbell

"SOMETIMES ON THE WAY TO YOUR DREAM, YOU GET LOST AND FIND A BETTER ONE." - Lisa Hammond

"IT IS POSSIBLE AT ANY AGE TO DISCOVER A LIFELONG DESIRE YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD." - Robert Brault


"IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHO YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN." - George Eliot

"WE DID NOT CHANGE AS WE GREW OLDER. WE JUST BECAME MORE CLEARLY OURSELVES." - Lynn Hall

"GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS! LIVE THE LIFE YOU HAVE IMAGED." - Henry David Thoreau

Monday, August 19, 2013

Ponderings On a Monday Morning

Vern and I spent some time on the deck this morning, and as he snoozed I sipped coffee from one of many favorite cups! 








Within the first few minutes we were there, five different prop planes puttered across the sky above us. I've never seen that many in such a short period of time. I noticed they were different too, so it wasn't a couple of planes flying in circles, tricking my mind.  



If you're new to my blog, you're probably wondering What's so special about propeller planes? I don't just "notice" them, I'm kind of obsessed with them! They carry a very special meaning to me. You can learn more about it from these two blog posts: 

http://beckypovich.blogspot.com/2012_02_18_archive.html

http://beckypovich.blogspot.com/2012_02_19_archive.html

This time along with the instantaneous, "memoir reminders," other thoughts came to mind.

I don't know if there is any kind of afterlife, but I remember being taught as a young child that when we got to Heaven, we would find out and understand all those unknown marvels; all those mysteries in life that I couldn't understand then....or now. 

As I sat and wondered about those countless prop planes I've seen and heard during the past year, a new thought came to me. IF there is a Heaven, and IF I get there someday, I don't need or want to know all those mysteries of the universe. All I want is to know everything about my parents. But I have some guidelines... (I don't dare refer to them as "rules" in Heaven!) I won't want to know everything right away. No, I want to be able to talk with them individually and hear in their own words why they made the decisions they made, all through their lives. 

Why? Because I never asked the difficult questions when I had the chance....after my parents' divorce.The ones I did attempt to ask my mother were usually shot down with, "Oh, I don't remember about that." -or- "I don't want to talk about that." 

And when I was in my dad's presence, rare as it was, I never had the guts to ask those persistent questions that haunted me for so many years, and still do at times.

If you have the time and opportunity to ask your parents, or any other relatives or friends, those important questions you need and want answers to, please do it while you still can. I wish I had.


“You can find something truly important in an ordinary minute.” 
― Mitch AlbomFor One More Day



(Quote from my favorite Mitch Albom book)

33 comments:

  1. I have already lost almost all to talk to, Becky! Wish I could have had tea on the deck with you and Vern. He looks peaceful...

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    1. Hi Claudia! I cannot tell a lie. That photo of Vern was taken a month or so ago! BUT, it is him...and he's on our deck! :)

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  2. Poor Vern looks as if you put him in the naughty corner in that photo.
    And while people tell me that animals never lie I disagree. Vern is telling you/me/us that he is treated unkindly and that it is some years since he last had any attention. Or food. And dogs and cats trip my guilt buttons really, really well.
    There are so many questions I would like to know the answer to. And I regret (so much) that it is very likely I never will.

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    1. And you are (naturally) under no obligation to follow the link in the comment above.

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    2. I did read it and it was very touching. I e-mailed you about it, too....

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  3. I miss all the good times we had too.

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    1. Hi! Sometimes I wonder if I think about the past too much, but it's kind of hard NOT to, since I write memoir!! It's wonderful to have many happy memories, too.

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  4. I'm blessed that my parents are still together and have always been pretty transparent about their lives.
    I do believe in heaven, and if you're interested in hearing about my beliefs, I'd be glad to chat with you!
    Thanks for visiting jenn's and reading my guest post! Nice to meet you!
    Tina @ Life is Good

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    1. Hi Tina! Thank you so much for stopping and commenting! It was great to "meet" you through Jenn's blog!
      I'm happy for you that your parents are still together, too.

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  5. Hi Becky,
    I am sorry I didn't ask my parents those important questions as well. Or my grandparents, for that matter. There is no much we don't realize is important when we are younger.

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    1. Hi Karen! You are so right. I've written about that recently, how as a child, I didn't want to listen to the "old people" sit around and talk. I wanted to go outside and play. When I speak at schools, I always stress to the students how important (and fun!) it is to ask their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc....the right questions.

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  6. I so agree with Karen, it's a shame we don't realize the importance of this kind of thing when we are young and (if we are fortunate) have the chance to ask. I'd love to meet all of the relatives I never got to know and also talk with the ones I only knew as a child. That would be a perfect idea of heaven to me.

    Love that photo of Vern, bless him. :)

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    1. Hi Julie! I couldn't have said it any better myself! I agree with you 100%!

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  7. Becky, if there is a Heaven you don't have to worry about being there. You'll probably be in charge of a heavenly library or something like that.
    I know what you mean about our parents. Mine are such a mystery to me too.

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    1. Oh Myrna! You are too nice to me! :)
      But, I'll let you continue if it makes you happy!

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  8. Hi Becky, thanks for commenting on my blog. I am so glad to have followed you back over here! What an interesting blog! I think we are going to get along just fine!
    As I just reread my comment, it sounds a lot like a gushing spammer...but I'm not, I promise!

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    1. Hey Recovering Church Lady!! You're funny, and wonderful, and yes...we're going to get along just fine!! LOL
      And no, you do not sound like a gushing spammer! :)

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  9. AND I love your blog list of writers, gonna go check them out!
    Susie

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  10. Life really is much shorter than we realize. I hope you get the answers to your questions someday. Sitting on the deck with Vern looks like a good way to spend some time.

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    1. Hi Daisy! Thank you! And you are right about Vern. He makes me happy just to be with him. Awwww...... :)

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  11. I wish I had, too. Not sure they would have answered me, though.

    I LOVE that "Write here, write now" mug.

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    1. Hi Susan! Glad you like my mug. It makes me feel "writerly!"

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  12. Hi there. Don't faint, it's me! I really enjoyed this post. Like your mug. Wouldn't it be wonderful to think that we will see our loved ones again and be able to ask them questions ! I do believe in the Afterlife. Otherwise, what's the point of it all. Hope you're keeping we'll over there and getting well settled into your new home.

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    1. Hi Diane! Thank you, m'dear! I hope you're feeling much better than you had been for some time.

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  13. Good counsel.

    And I LOVE that cup!

    =)

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    1. Hi Sue! Love your comments. They're always short and to the point! :)

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  14. I love coffee on a front porch.

    As my father was dying, I went home to spend some time with him, while he was still able to communicate. I asked him all kinds of questions about his life, marriage with my mom, work, memories. My mom was worried that asking him about his past would upset him, but I think it actually had the opposite effect. I'm glad I had that time.

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    1. Hi Julie! I love coffee on a porch, too. I've wanted a screened-in porch all my life. Honest! Maybe someday....
      I am SO HAPPY you were able to spend that time with your father, and that he was willing to answer your questions. I'm sure that time you spent together was very precious to him as well.

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  15. Hi, Becky
    Love your cute mug.
    Transparency and honesty are always the best, aren't they? Some people just haven't been taught how to do that, sadly. I've worked with a lot of alcoholics and their families and lying is just part of the family illness. And sometimes people are not totally honest because they feel they are trying to protect others even though it does the opposite.

    Great advice to speak to those you care about. But I've also concluded that I'm OK with not knowing the "why's" of everything. Maybe that's because I not only believe in an afterlife but I believe in a God who made me and has a purpose for me on this earth. That gives me significance, and peace no matter WHAT has happened in my past.

    Oh, I removed the address on my blog...and thanks again for the fun present! Sorry about being so long winded here...take care and have a great weekend!

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    1. Hi Sandy! I'm genuinely happy for you that you are "OK with not knowing the "why's" of everything." That's a very healthy way to be.
      Oh, and thanks for the blog post "fix." :)

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  16. Becky,
    I just re-read my post and I didn't mean to imply your family had alcoholic problems. I just mentioned that because it had been MY experience with untruthful people. Ugh! Sometimes I get myself into so much trouble with comments.
    Hugs,
    Sandy

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    1. Oh, Sandy! No problem! I didn't even think of it like that! You're sweet and funny! :)

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I love comments, especially because I know the time it takes to stop and type one, even a short one! Thanks very much!