Steven Wright always cracks me up!
Hope you enjoy the following as much as I do.
Imagine if birds were
tickled by feathers.
I remember when the
candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy
Birthday".
I accidentally installed
the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a
herd of deer.
I got stopped by a cop
the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said,
"Because I don't believe everything I read."
Yesterday, my eyeglass
prescription ran out.
I make my own water -
two glasses of H, one glass of O.
Ballerinas are always on
their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
The other day, I went to
a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people
who were here last year."
Why in a country of free
speech, are there phone bills?
What's another word for
"thesaurus"?
When I get real bored, I
like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and
count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
For my birthday I got a
humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight
it out.
I have a switch in my
apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off.
One day I got a call from a guy in France who said, "Cut it out!"
Now, a word from Becky: I firmly believe in the saying "Laughter is the Best Medicine." After reading all of the above funny lines, I'm all better today! Thanks so much for all the well wishes!
