Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Blazing the Trail of Cosmetics

It was as if I came up with the idea for the flux capacitor! 

How many of you put on your makeup while standing at your bathroom sink or vanity, looking into the mirror on the wall?

I stopped doing that a long time ago...because I couldn't see that far! Yeah, sad isn't it?

So, now I sit and use a table top mirror positioned about 6 inches from my face. (Not magnified, though. Unfortunately, that side of the mirror shows way too many lines and wrinkles.)

So, just the other day, as I opened up my tube of L'Oreal Eva Longoria lipstick, (which I've had for a long time because I hardly ever wear lipstick) it occurred to me how crazy the world of cosmetics is. 

I'm sure many women buy a certain brand of makeup or perfume just because of whose name is on it. Not me! I buy the cheapest lipstick that has the shade I want. I buy a fairly inexpensive liquid makeup that's the shade I think looks best on me. 

So, as I looked at Eva's fancy signature imprinted on the lipstick's plastic tube, I had a brain storm. Someone should come up with an entire line of beauty products for ladies, ahem..."of a certain age" and it should be named after Erma Bombeck!!

How about.....?

"Erma's Elixir"
"Ms. Bombeck's Magic"
"Queen Erma's Quick Fix"

Everyone join in! What names can you come up with?
(Mine aren't very good, so I'm hoping for some real doozies!) This post is obviously geared toward women, but men can join in, too!

* Welcome to my newest follower John. I hope you'll stop by often and always enjoy what you read and see! *


And, of course, I'm ending with all Erma quotes...

"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy." 

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

"It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style."


  1. As you know, alliteration is always good. I am thinking 'Bombeck Bliss' for moisturisers and 'The Bombeck Blitz' for night creams. Erma is toooo difficult to alliterate with (is alliterate a word?).

  2. I keep my make up to a minimum --I figure it only can do so much anyway. Sigh....

    Personally, I'm considering the Betty White cosmetic line. It promises laugh lines and a healthy dose of spunky attitude with every application.

  3. Erma is wonderful.
    Depending on how old your lipstick is, it may well have lead in it. It hasn't been that long since it came to light that the producers of cosmetics don't really care about our health. Maybe it's time for a new tube.

  4. "Erma's Eye Emulsion", "Bombeck Beauty Balm", "Slippery Slope Hand Lotion", "Midwest Mom's Rouge" - available colors: "Chagrin", "I Thought I'd Die of Embarrassment", "Sick Kid Pallor", "Happiness in a Stick" (concealer), "Who Do I Think I'm Fooling" foundation.

  5. That is a great idea! I'm like you. I used to sell Mary Kay, and it is fine, but I like things that I don't have to order. Almay is my foundation and blush (eye shadow too, though I have pretty much stopped wearing anything on my eyes now), and I get whatever lipstick that strikes my fancy.

    Oh, and I use Nivea Ultra Moisturizing Lotion on my face.

    I have enjoyed all the names that your friends have come up with!

    Kathy M.

  6. I have very favorite brands of makeup and they are not the expensive ones. I like your idea for an Erma line of cosmetics.

  7. The last quote made me smile. I buy lipstick the way you do, then I rarely wear it. Can't think of a name for 'mature" cosmetics. Maybe, "The older The Better"? That works for me.

  8. I'd go for anything that reminded me of Erma B. Especially Kim's Bombeck Beauty Balm!


  9. I'm kind of like YOU...low maintenance, though if I could look like Eva Longoria I'd buy her products.
    How about "Erma Shave"( a shaving cream for legs) and have signs up along the highway...just like the old Burma Shave signs. Hmmm, I THINK it was "Burma Shave"...
    Have you finished your workshop questions? :) Have a great week!

  10. I think you’re onto something here, Becky! Imagine, Bombeck’s “Be Real” cosmetics line ...coming to fine retailers everywhere!

    For some reason, “Auntie Erma’s Eraser” popped in my mind.
    So did “Fix-a-Dent”, but the folks at P&G might have an issue with that!

  11. I suppose "The Face is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank" is out of the question.

  12. Gotta love Erma. Erma's Eternal Emollient. For those interested in pure self-preservation.

    Critter Alley

  13. Ha! I find it interesting that Eva's is the cheapest brand you can find! Go Eva!

    Periodically I'll buy Clinique moisturizer but only during the sale so I can get the little bag with extra stuff. I don't think I've actually bought lipstick in years! (I know, you should throw it out after awhile but....)

  14. As I've aged my skin has become more sensitive. I used to be able to wear anything, and now it has to be mineral-based (without talc) or I have an allergic reaction. That goes for everything except lipstick and mascara. If Erma were going to do mineral make-up I guess it would be Erma's Elements, with the tagline: "You've never seen a chemical reaction like this one!"

  15. Oh my gosh! I knew a bunch of you would come up with fabulous, hilarious names!! I love them all!

  16. Ahh, good ole Erma. Her humor is the best.

    A new Erma makeup line is what we need for sure. Something that will keep us laughing all day.

  17. Hi Teresa! Yes, THAT would be the best makeup....something that would keep us laughing all day! Thanks for stopping and commenting!

  18. "Bombeck's Butt Butter" promises to shrink those bulging pockets of cellulite that always seem to move in the opposite direction that you are moving in, making them look like they have a life of their own. Massage it into both cheeks, and don't forget about those gellatenous bulges on your hips.

    I am such a bad and selfish friend. I've been whining about my mental miseries way too long! So I decided to just jump in and write some flash fiction. Your critique would be greatly appreciated!

  19. Hi, Becky,
    I love your post today! I am pretty much a drug store make up purchaser!! Erma Bombeck is a favorite of mine. I think I have read all of her books. She always makes me smile. Such a great lady. I hope you have a terrific weekend, sweet friend! Vicki p.s. I helped my mama put the green stamps in the books, too. That was my job just like you.

  20. I love the last quote. And you're on to something!

  21. Oh I love her and her quotes and message! Thank you and agree ... you are on to something grand!

  22. You are so funny !
    I love the idea of a Erma Bombeck line of cosmetics!

    So happy to have found this blog !

  23. Thank you Judie, Vicki, Lynn, Becky, and Pchickki! I'm so glad you all enjoyed this, too!


I'm still getting quite a few spam comments that are Anonymous, so I'm trying "User with Google Accounts." If anyone tries to comment that I know, and it won't let you, send me an email, okay? Thanks so much.