Vern, BBQ Grill, Hazel, & Roseanne Roseannadanna

I've blogged previously about my clumsiness; falling down steps, bumping into furniture, and tripping over this or that. Well at 6:30am this morning, when Vern and I were outside, I fell and...

as Hazel would say, it was a doozy!

I took this picture from our deck, earlier this year. 

Do you see that tiny little silver spec in the grass?

Same picture. Cropped closer.

Do you see it now?

Same photo again. Cropped even closer. 

Yes, there it is. The Culprit. 

This is the drive-way & parking lot behind our townhouse. The decks are over the garages, and we have a beautiful and private view. Vern and I have walked along, and up and down, that little grassy hill zillions of times. He always knows when, and how to, back up and out of an area. Normally, if he sniffs too close or behind that BBQ grill, I pull gently on his leash, and he then backs out and trots along the front of it.

Vern!

Well, this morning he was quite a bit behind it, in the shrubs. So I decided to pull him out of there, but on the back side of the grill. He got confused and turned the other way, and so before I could lift the leash up high enough, he and I kind of "clothes-lined" the grill! 

As it began to roll down, I tried to stop it, and somehow slipped or tripped, bounced around a bit and fell down the little hill, landing on my back and derriere on the hard concrete. As that was happening, the grill's lid fell off and clanked, my glasses and baseball cap flew off my head, and my cell phone slid out of my pocket. 

I sat there for a few minutes and knew I hadn't broken any bones, thank goodness, but my left knee and left arm hurt quite a bit. 

I wondered if anyone heard or witnessed my tumble, but I really didn't care one way or the other. I was so glad I had on jeans, because I could tell my left knee was scraped and bleeding, and it would've been a lot worse with shorts on. 

Vern and I walked home. I cleaned up my scrapes and crawled back into bed. 

The Ronald wasn't a bit aware of it until a couple of hours later when he woke up and I told him all about my latest escapade, and added, 

"It just goes to show you, it's always something--if it ain't one thing, it's another." -- Roseanne Roseannadanna

And He Thinks I'M the Klutzy One?!

I've mentioned my klutziness, my clumsiness, my banging into furniture and doorways that have been in the exact same places for years. I admit it. I'm a danger to myself. I constantly have bumps and bruises. Plus, I have EST (Extra Special Talent) in the "I can't believe I did that" category.

Example: Reaching into the clothes dryer to grab some towels. Somehow I manage to stick any one of my fingernails right into the teeniest crevice that I've never noticed before, and the nail breaks off.

Example: When using my bare foot to kick one of Vern the Wonder Dog's treats to him, I scrape my big toe so far and deep into the carpet that I almost give myself turf-toe, falling to the floor almost simultaneously crying and laughing.


Okay. See the picture below? It's part of our dining room. The chandelier was over the middle of our dining room table, until a few weeks ago when we gave it to one of "yours, mine, or our" sons. I had been sitting there with my laptop on the table because Vern likes to lay and look out the front window. (The window in my upstairs office is not that close to the floor.) So, in absence of that table, I put my small desk there.

That light fixture is plenty high enough that I don't have the problem of running into it, BUT my six foot tall husband, The Ronald, kept banging his head on it!! Which to me is even klutzier (and dumber) than the things I do, because his eyes are RIGHT THERE in that area! He kept insisting he didn't see it and if I didn't want to hear his *&#%@*, then I better hang something on it...for him to see.

So, voile'. There hangs one of my favorite things: Wind chimes! I think they add a bit of karma and help my writing mojo. What do you think? About my klutziness? The Ronald's inability to see what he's about to walk into? And my lovely chimes adding ambiance? Or anything else you want to comment on!

 *Welcome to my two newest followers, Renae and Mary. I hope you'll stop by often and always enjoy what you read and see! Thank you! *

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.” 
― Jarod Kintz 

** I Could've Fallen Down the Steps! **

* This is my post for The Deja Vu Blogfest. It was originally posted in June 2010. Whether you've seen it before or not, I hope it makes you laugh! *

Yesterday was one of those (rare) days when I had a lot of energy. I did some laundry, whipped up some homemade (from a box) brownies, picked up clutter around the house, worked on my homemade birthday cards, stopped at the library to pick up a book, stopped at the post office to mail a package and got some stamps, etc..etc..!!  I LOVE those kinds of days, because they usually are few and far between. I just do not have a high energy level...never have, and never will....I guess.

Anyway....I told you all about that, so I can tell you all about this.

 Because of my super energy yesterday, I was still in high gear after my husband had gone upstairs to bed. I made several trips up and down the stairs, returning things to where they belonged, etc. One of those times, as I walked up the steps, I carried a couple of folded t-shirts and was talking to our dog, Tiger, who faithfully followed me. Thinking my husband was probably still awake and watching TV in the bedroom, I was in my own little world...that is until I reached the first landing and saw something out of the corner of my eye. He was standing there, resting with his elbows on the railing, just waiting for me to look up and see him......and when I did..... he scared the absolute *%#$? out of me!!! I was SO mad at him... (because he scares me so many times by quietly coming up behind me, etc.)....I think I danced in place for a second or two, screamed, threw the t-shirts at him, and cussed like a sailor! Besides being scared within an inch of my life, what makes me the angriest is that he always acts so innocent!! He always says, "What? What did I do? I was just_______!  Just fill in the blanks...."Standing there, walking into the room, waiting for you", etc.

I would've loved to have seen the look on my face. Every time I think about it now, I start cracking up, which aggravated me at first....but still...in afterthought, it WAS hilarious! It makes me think of the scene below....... Ron's lucky I didn't react the way Ferris' sister did when the high school principal surprised her in the kitchen! I think it is THE funniest scene in the entire movie.

Please leave a comment and let me know if it made you laugh out loud, too!
AND, do you have friends or family members that enjoy scaring the heck out of you?? Or are YOU the one who does it?

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” -- Shirly MacLaine