* It Could Only Happen To Me *

One of the chapters in my memoir is titled, "I Was Born with Klutz Genes," where I relate stories of my various trips and falls, stumbles and sprawls, missteps and spills.

This morning a goofy, klutzy thing happened to me. The Ronald drove me to downtown St. Louis so I could drop off copies of my memoir along with press releases, at a couple of places. There was a curb right at the radio station's front door, so it was easy to grab my purse and brief case and walk right in.

Not so easy at the next stop. Of course not. There wasn't anywhere to park, so about a block away from the building, The Ronald just kind of pulled over and stopped. The plan again, was for me to jump out of the car, so he could drive off, but as we know, plans don't always go the way they are ....well....planned!

As I stepped out of the car, my right hand held onto my briefcase, and my lightweight suit jacket was thrown over the crook of my left arm. AND, as I reached down to get my purse from the floorboard, my foot had already gotten tangled up with the purse handle, and I almost fell. The wind was blowing like crazy and as I stumbled, somehow I dropped my jacket onto the street, and the wind blew it right under The Ronald's car! In split seconds, I thought....Well, there goes that jacket. Good thing it was a "cheapie." I kept looking on the street in front of the car, because surely it should've been blown that far, but no....nothing. I peaked under the car and didn't see anything there, either. Finally I told The Ronald to back up slightly, and there it lay....right in a little "oil puddle." I grabbed it, threw it back over my arm, snatched my purse from the floor, and practically skidded across the sidewalk, as the wind blew me along.

To be continued......tomorrow!



* Welcome to my newest follower Brenda, @ It's A Beautiful Life. I hope you'll stop by often and always enjoy what you read and see! Thank you so much! *

Saturday Centus - Football

 

It's Saturday Centus time, via Jenny Matlock's blog. I haven't participated in Jenny's meme for such a long time and today seems like the perfect day to begin again. Why? Because it's September 1st and the prompt is: "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

WORD COUNT -  Not to exceed 106
STYLE OF WRITING - Any
PICTURES - Any Additional 

For more rules and more 100 word writings using the prompt go to 

http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/2012/09/saturday-centus-are-you-ready-for.html 

Below is my entry:

Poised Excitement

Are you ready for some football? You bet your sweet patootie I am! Being such a klutz, though, and a possible danger to myself and others, it's best for me to stay home and watch games on television.

One time I attended a local college game, and as I moseyed along a concrete walkway, I tripped and fell, scraping my hands and knees while soda, ice, and a warm pretzel went flying through the air. The force of my fall caused a slight lack of bladder control, thus causing way more embarrassment than any physical pain.

Hooray for Big Screen TV and a nearby bathroom!

And He Thinks I'M the Klutzy One?!

I've mentioned my klutziness, my clumsiness, my banging into furniture and doorways that have been in the exact same places for years. I admit it. I'm a danger to myself. I constantly have bumps and bruises. Plus, I have EST (Extra Special Talent) in the "I can't believe I did that" category.

Example: Reaching into the clothes dryer to grab some towels. Somehow I manage to stick any one of my fingernails right into the teeniest crevice that I've never noticed before, and the nail breaks off.

Example: When using my bare foot to kick one of Vern the Wonder Dog's treats to him, I scrape my big toe so far and deep into the carpet that I almost give myself turf-toe, falling to the floor almost simultaneously crying and laughing.


Okay. See the picture below? It's part of our dining room. The chandelier was over the middle of our dining room table, until a few weeks ago when we gave it to one of "yours, mine, or our" sons. I had been sitting there with my laptop on the table because Vern likes to lay and look out the front window. (The window in my upstairs office is not that close to the floor.) So, in absence of that table, I put my small desk there.

That light fixture is plenty high enough that I don't have the problem of running into it, BUT my six foot tall husband, The Ronald, kept banging his head on it!! Which to me is even klutzier (and dumber) than the things I do, because his eyes are RIGHT THERE in that area! He kept insisting he didn't see it and if I didn't want to hear his *&#%@*, then I better hang something on it...for him to see.

So, voile'. There hangs one of my favorite things: Wind chimes! I think they add a bit of karma and help my writing mojo. What do you think? About my klutziness? The Ronald's inability to see what he's about to walk into? And my lovely chimes adding ambiance? Or anything else you want to comment on!

 *Welcome to my two newest followers, Renae and Mary. I hope you'll stop by often and always enjoy what you read and see! Thank you! *

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.” 
― Jarod Kintz